Love means never having to say you’re sorry?
Posted on | June 2, 2009 | No Comments
Is it true? Do we really never have to say we’re sorry to those we love? Even if we unintentionally hurt someone we love, do we not have to say the words, “I’m sorry for hurting you”? I’d like to think when we do get it wrong, we try to make it right.
“Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” is a line from the novel and 1970 film Love Story starring Ali MacGraw and Ryan O’Neal. The quote appears twice in the film.
Source: Wikipedia
I understand why they say love never means having to say your sorry because in a way, I believe that loving hearts forgive those who hurt us automatically. But I still believe that saying the words out loud, or writing them in a letter, help heal hurt…like kissing boo boos. Sure, the kiss doesn’t really heal the wound but boy does it sure feel better after love is applied.
How to know if you should say you’re sorry
I look at it like this: Say you broke a window while playing baseball. Most likely, you would go to the owner and not only apologize for the breakage but also make offer to pay (if you’re really gracious) for repairs. Why? Because even though it was completely unintentional, you caused damage.
Hearts operate in the same way. You’re walking along the street completely loving the person you’re with when out pops something you never intended to do or say. You can’t possibly understand why the other person is giving you the silent treatment, walking off, or is angry! You didn’t do anything!
Think again.
Hearts have these hidden windows you can’t possibly see. And some house more windows than others. It really depends on the person and how sensitive they are. The more sensitive? The more windows. You could be playing baseball around an all glass house. But even the less sensitive have their own fragile windows you cannot see. You may never know where those fragile parts are, but you’ll probably know when you hit one.
We all break a window or two in the hearts of some of the most important people in our lives without meaning to. It’s natural – like a dog wagging his tail and accidentally knocking off the crystal dish off the coffee table. It’s completely unintentional, but watch what the dog – the purest form of unconditional love one could behold – does right after.
He says he’s sorry.
Sometimes we mess up in epic proportions. And that makes us feel bad sometimes to an extent that we will get angry because the ones we hurt made us feel this way!
The truth is, we mess up. We mess up all the time with the people we love the most. First, forgive yourself. If you didn’t mean to make the mistake or hurt someone – it’s OK. You’ll do better next time! No worries.
If you hurt the one you love, intentionally or unintentionally, say you’re sorry.
Say you’re sorry even if you don’t understand.
Let them know you care about them and how they feel. And then try opening the conversation up in a safe way for them to be able to tell you why it hurt them. Chances are you can repair that damage quicker and easier than if you had just walked away.
Love may mean never having to say you’re sorry, but I believe it’s better if you do.
Tags: Ali MacGraw > Ali McGraw > Empathy > forgiveness > Love > love means never having to say your sorry > Love Story > movie > Ryan O'Neal > Ryan O'Neil > Sorry > unintentionally hurting someone
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