Being able to tolerate anything is difficult because it requires us to go outside of our comfort zones and show patience and kindness to whatever it is that really irritates us.
When you add the fear or anxiety factor of handling uncertainty, it makes the whole idea of “tolerating uncertainty” almost too much to comprehend.
Here is a step-by-step on how you can handle a certain amount of uncertainty.
1. Breathe.
Get to a private place. Go to the bathroom. Close the door. Sit at your desk where no one can see you. Close your eyes and inhale deeply for five seconds. FIVE SECONDS. That’s not hard. Let it out with a push. If tears come; let them. Then get to step two.
2. Identify what’s really bothering you.
So, you’re questioning your relationship. Or, you found a lump. Perhaps, you’ve learned your job may not be safe. Whatever is causing your uneasiness write it down. It won’t bite you harder than it already is internally. When you write down what is bothering you in one sentence or less, you give voice to the thing you feel you must solve or get clear on. And you will. Tuck it away if you have to for the moment or address it right now with step number 3.
3. List possible next steps.
If it’s a lump, the next step would be to call the doctor. If it’s job security, the next step might be to polish up your resume and get back in touch with old contacts. If it’s about your relationship a possible next step might be just having a conversation. Whatever is right for you to find a little more peace in the situation right now is what you should begin listing. The right answer will come. You just need to write down all possibilities. Then sort them.
4. Find someone to bounce it off of.
Often, our own tunnel vision can cloud or cause our own anxieties about any situation to spiral out of control. Finding a trusted friend, family member, or counselor to talk to about your uncertainties may help you put perspective on a situation before your fear warps out of control. You don’t have to go into a lot of detail, just say something like, “I was wondering, I feel a little uncertain about (whatever it is you’re uncertainty is) because (fill in the blank here with why you’re worried). Do you think I’m over-reacting?”
5. Accept anxiety as a way of life.
Yes, it’s true. Anxiety and uncertainty are those blessed little things in life that make us think. In Just Enough Anxiety
Be OK with things not being OK. It’s hard. It’s tough. But it’s possible! Once you start accepting that there’s a valid reason for you to be completely uncomfortable, answers will arise! Then…
6. Act.
Do one thing from your list you made in step 3. Take one step in the right direction to help overcome a feeling of powerlessness. Ask the questions. Do some research. Gather some answers. Knowledge casts out fear. When you act upon solving something, your tolerance level increases for handling the difficulty of the situation. Before long, you will begin the process of not quelling the anguish, or even tolerating it, but freeing yourself from it…step by step.
Going through this process when situations arise will help you cope with uncertainties better along the way as they come. Well, sort of.
Also See:
Live: Tolerating Uncertainty
To Be: Resilient
To Hear: Keep Faith
More on Learn…
I also highly recommend going through The Work by Byron Katie from her book Loving What Is
- Is it true?
- Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
- How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
- Who would you be without the thought?
Of course there’s more to it than that, but that should get you started. You can find her tools and information here.
[...] of heavy information. Hang on. If you can tolerate the pain of uncertainty, relief is sure to come. Make a plan. Get clear. Hang in [...]