Happy New Year!

Just wanted to wish you a very happy new year! May 2009 bring you everything your heart desires. And go easy on the resolutions.  You are wonderful as you are.

But if you find yourself in a need for some good ol’ self-improvement, which I guess we could all use, just remember to take baby steps.  Step by step by step. Hope this site will give you some food for thought, simple indulgences, and useful information.

Looking forward to a great year ahead!

Love,
Kelley

(If you cannot see video, click here to view: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qNel3kyOLPM)

Live: Tolerating Uncertainty

Today’s news of Lehman Brother’s bankruptcy filing, the hit in the financial markets, the surge of gas prices climbing at least 25 cents overnight from Hurricane Ike has many, for good reasons, afraid and uncertain.

Uncertainty can crop up in anything though: a relationship, finances, job security, or even health crisis’ like finding a lump where none should exist surprise us. Switching careers, buying a home, taking a risk when you’d rather stay put – any of these things will come at us and throw us off balance at any point in our lives. What we do, how we react is up to us.

Uncertainty is part of living. Change is all around us. But happiness, or the search for it, requires an ability to tolerate uncertainty in the midst of chaos. There are ups, there are downs. Living means not being afraid of a skinned knee knowing that chances are they’ll happen when riding a bike. Knowing that you will come out on the other side of it, preparing accordingly, helps you stay grounded and sure of what lies before you.

In the coming days, years in fact, we’ll be seeing more gestures of uncertainty prevailing in the financial markets, global economy and world news. We may hear gloom and doom reports and unfortunately, they may not be inaccurate.

It’s important in uncertainty to not react so quickly. Buy! Sell! Yes! No! Cancer! Really, how can we really know unless we settle down and find the right answer for us? How can we know the right treatment unless we get to the root cause of what ails us or is impacting our present or future?

For now, if it seems too much to bear, calm down. Breathe. Lao Tzu said, “Do you have the patience to wait till your mud settles and the water is clear? Can you remain unmoving till the right action arises by itself?”

Uncertainty is uncomfortable, but clarity comes eventually. Don’t knee-jerk responses. Don’t fall under the weight of heavy information. Hang on. If you can tolerate the pain of uncertainty, relief is sure to come. Make a plan. Get clear. Hang in there.

My heart is with you,

Kelley Taylor

Also See:

Learn: How To Tolerate Uncertainty – Sort Of
To Be: Resilient
Hear: Keep Faith
My Wish For You: Courage to Fight The Good Fight

Learn: How To Tolerate Uncertainty - Sort Of

Being able to tolerate anything is difficult because it requires us to go outside of our comfort zones and show patience and kindness to whatever it is that really irritates us.

When you add the fear or anxiety factor of handling uncertainty, it makes the whole idea of “tolerating uncertainty” almost too much to comprehend.

Here is a step-by-step on how you can handle a certain amount of uncertainty.

1. Breathe.
Get to a private place. Go to the bathroom. Close the door. Sit at your desk where no one can see you. Close your eyes and inhale deeply for five seconds. FIVE SECONDS. That’s not hard. Let it out with a push. If tears come; let them. Then get to step two.

2. Identify what’s really bothering you.
So, you’re questioning your relationship. Or, you found a lump. Perhaps, you’ve learned your job may not be safe. Whatever is causing your uneasiness write it down. It won’t bite you harder than it already is internally. When you write down what is bothering you in one sentence or less, you give voice to the thing you feel you must solve or get clear on. And you will. Tuck it away if you have to for the moment or address it right now with step number 3.

3. List possible next steps.
If it’s a lump, the next step would be to call the doctor. If it’s job security, the next step might be to polish up your resume and get back in touch with old contacts. If it’s about your relationship a possible next step might be just having a conversation. Whatever is right for you to find a little more peace in the situation right now is what you should begin listing. The right answer will come. You just need to write down all possibilities. Then sort them.

4. Find someone to bounce it off of.
Often, our own tunnel vision can cloud or cause our own anxieties about any situation to spiral out of control. Finding a trusted friend, family member, or counselor to talk to about your uncertainties may help you put perspective on a situation before your fear warps out of control. You don’t have to go into a lot of detail, just say something like, “I was wondering, I feel a little uncertain about (whatever it is you’re uncertainty is) because (fill in the blank here with why you’re worried). Do you think I’m over-reacting?”

5. Accept anxiety as a way of life.
Yes, it’s true. Anxiety and uncertainty are those blessed little things in life that make us think. In Just Enough Anxiety, author Robert Rosen says, “We’re told that anxiety is bad. We work hard to ‘de-stress,’ ‘stay sane,’ and ideally eliminate anxiety from our lives altogether. But how many of us have ever achieved this? Trying – in vain – to rid ourselves of anxiety actually causes more anxiety!”
Be OK with things not being OK. It’s hard. It’s tough. But it’s possible! Once you start accepting that there’s a valid reason for you to be completely uncomfortable, answers will arise! Then…

6. Act.
Do one thing from your list you made in step 3. Take one step in the right direction to help overcome a feeling of powerlessness. Ask the questions. Do some research. Gather some answers. Knowledge casts out fear. When you act upon solving something, your tolerance level increases for handling the difficulty of the situation. Before long, you will begin the process of not quelling the anguish, or even tolerating it, but freeing yourself from it…step by step.

Going through this process when situations arise will help you cope with uncertainties better along the way as they come. Well, sort of.

Also See:

Live: Tolerating Uncertainty
To Be: Resilient
To Hear: Keep Faith

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