Happy New Year!

Just wanted to wish you a very happy new year! May 2009 bring you everything your heart desires. And go easy on the resolutions.  You are wonderful as you are.

But if you find yourself in a need for some good ol’ self-improvement, which I guess we could all use, just remember to take baby steps.  Step by step by step. Hope this site will give you some food for thought, simple indulgences, and useful information.

Looking forward to a great year ahead!

Love,
Kelley

(If you cannot see video, click here to view: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qNel3kyOLPM)

My Wish For You: A Beautiful New Year

Happy New Year!

I hope you are well and ready to begin afresh this year. A year of starting again, failing better (hopefully), and trying, trying, trying new things stretching yourself and those you love to new heights.

I wish for you moments of bliss.

I wish for you moments of peace.

I wish for you to have the year of your life! Make it what you want. And remember always to try and make every day a holiday.

From my heart to yours,

Kelley Taylor

Live: Leaping

When life comes at you hard, it’s time to shake things up.

About two years ago I decided to do something I’ve always wanted to do…SkyDive. (Well…..strapped to someone who knows what they’re doing.) It was exhilarating! Fantastic! Mind-blowing! This was my controlled risk I wanted to take challenging every norm I’ve lived with my entire life. And it couldn’t have come at a better time.

You see, at the time my world was crumbling out from under me. I felt like Humpty Dumpty. I had abandoned my career to save my marriage (that ended up in divorce), I moved, I went through a total upheaval. I realized that I had to sift through the rubble to find what was left of me, pick up some pieces to try and redefine who I was, and get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

I knew I was in for a rocky road ahead, so I chose skydiving as a personal challenge to push myself beyond all my comfort zones. The way I figured it? If I can have enough courage, faith, and trust to jump out of a plane (without training, skill, or aptitude), what else could I do?

Willy Ley, in The Race For Space, said, “The point to remember is that a giant leap into space can be a giant leap toward peace down below.” Although Ley’s quote was an obvious reference to space exploration, I knew when I read it what I must do. My leap out of a plane was my giant leap towards peace in my own life here below.

Skydiving taught me about change, fear, and what your body and soul does when life comes at you hard. I remember the moment they opened the hatch on the airplane. There was this automatic survival safety switch thrown in me that said, “Oh my gosh! There’s an opening in the airplane! Cling to your seat!”

The irony is, in my head I knew I wanted to jump. I had signed up for it, paid for it, signed the waivers, had my parachute, and even had my tandem instructor by me the entire time. I had done the work, knew that’s what I came to do, but my body was on autopilot. And it wasn’t moving.

But then I got the courage to get to the edge.

Look, today’s climate of change in the world will make you want to cling to your seat and grab the “Oh Shit!” bars. It doesn’t matter that intellectually we understand we have to keep moving forward. We didn’t just forget that sometimes things don’t work out as planned. We know we have to adjust. But when the hatch flies wide open, it’s easy to just stay where you are even though you know you have everything within you to still keep moving forward with purpose.

So just be aware. Eventually, once you catch your breath and get comfortable knowing you’re just having an automatic reaction that is totally normal, you may eventually have the courage to walk to the edge and take a step into the exhilarating life you were meant to live.

Remember, you don’t have to jump out of a plane to awaken to your own life. Taking a leap includes anything that shakes your blood and get you moving towards the life you want. It could be as simple as submitting an article to a magazine, changing your hairstyle, volunteering for a cause, or enrolling in a class.

So get ready. Fear is part of the factor. What leap have you been suppressing or what leap will move you in the right direction? Are you ready? Maybe so. Maybe not. But all you have to do is take one small step…or go ahead and take one giant leap.

“We are very near to greatness: one step and we are safe. Can we not take the leap.”
— Ralph Waldo Emerson

Love: Devotion is its own adventure

Often, people speak of love and devotion romantically. Like swans mating for life or when Phoebe explains the relationship between Ross and Rachel on Friends as “He’s her lobster.”

But devotion in and of itself is more than some romantic notion. It’s love personified in many forms: A mother or father devoted to their child, a child devoted to his education, sport or hobby, a person devoted to their religion or political party. Devotion shows up not because it’s convenient or beautiful, it’s there because there is no other way.

Devotion is unassuming, it’s quiet, it just appears. Where loyalty demands decision and sometimes action, being utterly devoted seems almost involuntary at times.

It’s a commitment.

It’s about showing up.
It’s holding someone’s head over a toilet when sick or getting the cold washcloth for a feverish forehead.
It’s doing the right thing.
It’s making sure the bills are paid or that the family is eating healthy.
It’s making the call.
It’s honoring commitments.
It’s stick-to-itiveness
It’s perseverance in the face of adversity.
It’s about sacrifice of self for the greater good – for the family, for a cause, for society.

It’s a knowing of some sort. A knowing that at the end of the day, you will continue to choose to be right where you are, constantly giving, consistently being there. What’s more important is that when you show how devoted you are, people come to know you and your values without you ever having to say a word.

Who or what cause earns your devotion? What do you do and whom do you do it for when you don’t even feel like it? Make sure your devotion isn’t squandered or misplaced. There are so many who could use your selfless love.

Devotion is love, after all. It’s a worthy adventure for anyone who yearns to know what being true is all about. And if you look for it in your own life, you will see this love in many forms.

Cherish it. Practice it. Love it.

My Wish For You: Crisp Autumn Days

Today I wish for you crisp autumn days…the kind that make you want to take hayrides, pick pumpkins, and get out your sweaters and boots.

I wish for you…

…Fall foliage beyond compare
…Crunchy leaves under your feet (instead of in your gutters)
…Hot cocoa in red plaid thermoses
…Football games
…Warm blankets
…Crackling fires to keep you cozy
…And skies as clear and blue as you’ve ever seen.

I wish you fun raking days where you can pile leaves waist high and run and jump in them just like you did when you were a kid.

I wish you air, fresh and cool, to clear your stuffy head from anything troubling you. I wish you that first cold night the temperature drops so low you can see white clouds of breath puff before your very eyes.

It’s great to be alive, isn’t it?

In every season, for many reasons, I wish you love, happiness, and as much good stuff as your heart can stand.

All my love,

Kelley Taylor

Live: Take A Bite Out Of Life

I’ve often wondered if those who have these manicured pretty lives really understand how amazing they could be if they rolled up their sleeves every now and then and shook things up.  I wonder if they know how truly powerful their lives are if they looked at life not as something that has to be pushed down, ordered, sifted, polished, and displayed but instead something real they could taste.

As we’ve witnessed these past few weeks, life can be messy. Writer Natalie Goldberg said it best in Wild Mind when she wrote “Life is not orderly. No matter how we try to make life so, right in the middle of it we die, lose a leg, fall in love, drop a jar of applesauce.”

Life derails us. Stocks go down, businesses go belly up, credit freezes, hockey moms run for office. So what? Dig into your one juicy life and make the most of it. Find one thing that you haven’t yet done and work towards it even though it may feel a little painful or hard to do for now.

Life, for every time it’s let you down, is there to show you that with every minute you breathe there is something you haven’t yet tasted. Some of it may be bitter, but rest assured, you’ll hit that sweet spot eventually if you haven’t already experienced it once or twice before.

So our new tag line for Make Every Day A Holiday, along with our new little icon – the green apple – is: Take a Bite Out Of Life. Because for those of us who try to make the most of everyday living, we understand that it’s organic. It’s imperfect. It’s ever-changing. It’s sometimes sticky, sometimes bitter or sour, and yes it’s sometimes sweet. But we never forget that this one life of ours is delicious in every way. The bad often makes us appreciate more of the good. Life is to be ingested, digested, processed and nourished. Life is to be lived.

I hope you always make the most of your today. May you always find a way to make every day a holiday. And if you need some ideas, you might want to check out the new holidaily feed on Twitter. I’ll give you 365 days and ways to make every day a holiday…or at least food for thought.

All my love,

Kelley

Live: Tolerating Uncertainty

Today’s news of Lehman Brother’s bankruptcy filing, the hit in the financial markets, the surge of gas prices climbing at least 25 cents overnight from Hurricane Ike has many, for good reasons, afraid and uncertain.

Uncertainty can crop up in anything though: a relationship, finances, job security, or even health crisis’ like finding a lump where none should exist surprise us. Switching careers, buying a home, taking a risk when you’d rather stay put – any of these things will come at us and throw us off balance at any point in our lives. What we do, how we react is up to us.

Uncertainty is part of living. Change is all around us. But happiness, or the search for it, requires an ability to tolerate uncertainty in the midst of chaos. There are ups, there are downs. Living means not being afraid of a skinned knee knowing that chances are they’ll happen when riding a bike. Knowing that you will come out on the other side of it, preparing accordingly, helps you stay grounded and sure of what lies before you.

In the coming days, years in fact, we’ll be seeing more gestures of uncertainty prevailing in the financial markets, global economy and world news. We may hear gloom and doom reports and unfortunately, they may not be inaccurate.

It’s important in uncertainty to not react so quickly. Buy! Sell! Yes! No! Cancer! Really, how can we really know unless we settle down and find the right answer for us? How can we know the right treatment unless we get to the root cause of what ails us or is impacting our present or future?

For now, if it seems too much to bear, calm down. Breathe. Lao Tzu said, “Do you have the patience to wait till your mud settles and the water is clear? Can you remain unmoving till the right action arises by itself?”

Uncertainty is uncomfortable, but clarity comes eventually. Don’t knee-jerk responses. Don’t fall under the weight of heavy information. Hang on. If you can tolerate the pain of uncertainty, relief is sure to come. Make a plan. Get clear. Hang in there.

My heart is with you,

Kelley Taylor

Also See:

Learn: How To Tolerate Uncertainty – Sort Of
To Be: Resilient
Hear: Keep Faith
My Wish For You: Courage to Fight The Good Fight

Learn: How To Handle Stupid Criticism

There’s good criticism, and then there’s the bad.

Constructive criticism feels like help, sounds like help, and is kind and gentle. It usually comes from a place of great care and concern in either wanting to help you improve or save you from possible embarrassment, hurt, or pain.

Then, there’s that stupid kind. The kind that’s thrown around like kicking an empty can down the street. The kind that’s sometimes intended; sometimes unintended. It comes in forms like when your mom tells you how you should be wearing your hair, or in a comment your husband makes on how overdone the baked potato is.

Yeah, I’ll get right on that.

Truth is, even though criticisms can be slight, they add up and can hurt us overall if we don’t learn how to deal with them and those who dish it out.

So how do we handle the person in our life that just can’t help herself but comment on how much better the lawn looked last year?

Dr. David J. Lieberman, author of Make Peace With Anyone, suggests this (everything in parentheses – my comments, not his):

1. Don’t argue with them. (Their idiots. Momentarily at least. And why fight with an idiot? You’re better than that.)
2. Thank the person regardless of how insane or self-serving the remark is. (Try doing this without the fake smile and clenched teeth.)
3. Ask a question regarding how or why she herself is so capable, without being sarcastic! (Riiiiiight, Dr. Lieberman. No way.)

Honestly, I’d probably leave off number three because after thanking them as if I’m grateful for being whipped forty lashes with a wet noodle (“Thank you sir, may I have another!”) I don’t think I’d be able to muster anything after that without sarcasm oozing from my pores. But if you can, go for it!

Still, Dr. Lieberman gives great advice…

Don’t argue.
Thank them.
(I say move on and remind yourself of three other things you did RIGHT that day.)

That’s enough to throw them off track. After all, stupid criticism is intended to hurt you, jab at you, take a stab at you. It’s always given about something for which you can do nothing about. The hair is already cut, you’re already in the shirt, the weight has already been gained, the food’s already been cooked. There’s no constructive anything in that anywhere!

Recognize it for what it is. Rise above. Be gracious. Roll your eyes in private. Be compassionate towards those who have to hurt others just to make themselves feel better about who they are and what they’re not. Then look at you! Before you know it, you’ll be able to withstand anything a mother-in-law or overbearing parent can throw at you.

We can hope, right? Or are we doing that wrong, too?

Love: Pay Attention

“Attention is the most basic form of love; through it we bless and are blessed.”
- John Tarrant

While life flies by, it’s easy to get caught up in the to do lists, the schedules, the hectic lives we all lead.

We text while we talk, we surf while we watch TV, and we talk while we drive. We have videos playing in cars, we have iPods for planes, and we have books for trains while music plays in our ears. Our laptops keep us company while in a coffee shop alone. And before we know it, our minds don’t ever have to wonder what shape the clouds morphed into or see that a new flower just bloomed in season. We’re busy. We are busy, busy people!

So much of our time is spent zoning out, chilling out, getting things done. And listen, it’s not just because of technology. It’s really always been this way.

One of my all-time favorite plays (and honestly one of the reasons for creating this site) is Our Town by Thorton Wilder. It’s set in a quiet rural town from 1901 to 1913 – long before technology ever had an effect on life. The play has this expressive scene where the main character Emily, after passing away, is granted one more day to revisit. She’s warned not to pick too special of a day, that would just be too painful to bear, but just pick an ordinary day.

After reliving a part of her 12th birthday, she really can’t take it anymore. She is heartbroken after reliving ordinary moments like waking and coming down for breakfast. She says in this all important monologue,
“Oh, Mama, just look at me one minute as though you really saw me!”

Suddenly, she turns and says, “I can’t go on. It goes so fast. We don’t have time to look at one another. ”

Among her saying goodbye to earth, she bids farewell to ticking clocks, sunflowers, food and coffee, new ironed dresses, hot baths, sleeping and waking and finally sobs saying, “Oh earth, you’re just too wonderful for anyone to realize you!”

We spend our days not really looking at one another – seeing one another. Sure we have moments where we can focus and not multi-task, but, are we really paying attention? Do we pay attention to the clerk who bags our groceries, or the person who seats us at our table? Do we pay attention to those we love…to the things we love? Do we really focus on our conversations with one another or let small ordinary moments, and things, and people pass us by?

Love.
Pay attention.

Because hey, as Matthew Broderick says in Ferris Buehler’s Day Off (1986), “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it.”

My Wish For You: Friendship Beyond Compare

Today I wish for you friendship beyond compare. I believe no one exists on an island. Well maybe Tom Hanks did in that movie Cast Away but even he befriended a volleyball and called him Wilson.

For you? Well, I hope you find at least one of your soulmates. No. I don’t believe soulmates have to be the one undying romance or love interest of your life. Soulmates come in many packages.

Author Ilana Simons wrote, “Soulmate means a friend who understands something about you and so live flexibly in this relationship, in which you can both risk a little, and insult a little, and dare a little, and stray a little, while something solid connects you at the center.”

So, I wish for you THAT kind of friend! A soul sistah or brothah! One you can laugh with, cry with…the one you don’t mind if they see you sick as a dog.

I wish for you a friend that happily competes with you in things like sports or hobbies, but would never even think to compete with you on a love interest or with other friends.

I wish for you a friend you can do nothing with. Nothing is hard to do with others if you don’t connect on a deep level.

I wish for you a friend where silence is always an option. One where private jokes make you want to pee in your pants, and where stupid words or quoted phrases from movies make total sense to you and no one else. I wish for you a friend that when you get together, at least one person in the room rolls their eyes at you two.

I wish for you a friend that can pick up a conversation with you right where you left off no matter if it’s been years since you’ve seen them last.

And if after reading all of these things, and that someone is in the back of your mind, I wish for you time to pick up the phone and call them, pick up a pen and write, or shoot them a quick email to say hello.

Friends like that don’t come along every day. Celebrate them. And in that, you’ll make today a special holiday.

My best wishes to you,

Kelley

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