Love: Pay Attention

“Attention is the most basic form of love; through it we bless and are blessed.”
- John Tarrant

While life flies by, it’s easy to get caught up in the to do lists, the schedules, the hectic lives we all lead.

We text while we talk, we surf while we watch TV, and we talk while we drive. We have videos playing in cars, we have iPods for planes, and we have books for trains while music plays in our ears. Our laptops keep us company while in a coffee shop alone. And before we know it, our minds don’t ever have to wonder what shape the clouds morphed into or see that a new flower just bloomed in season. We’re busy. We are busy, busy people!

So much of our time is spent zoning out, chilling out, getting things done. And listen, it’s not just because of technology. It’s really always been this way.

One of my all-time favorite plays (and honestly one of the reasons for creating this site) is Our Town by Thorton Wilder. It’s set in a quiet rural town from 1901 to 1913 – long before technology ever had an effect on life. The play has this expressive scene where the main character Emily, after passing away, is granted one more day to revisit. She’s warned not to pick too special of a day, that would just be too painful to bear, but just pick an ordinary day.

After reliving a part of her 12th birthday, she really can’t take it anymore. She is heartbroken after reliving ordinary moments like waking and coming down for breakfast. She says in this all important monologue,
“Oh, Mama, just look at me one minute as though you really saw me!”

Suddenly, she turns and says, “I can’t go on. It goes so fast. We don’t have time to look at one another. ”

Among her saying goodbye to earth, she bids farewell to ticking clocks, sunflowers, food and coffee, new ironed dresses, hot baths, sleeping and waking and finally sobs saying, “Oh earth, you’re just too wonderful for anyone to realize you!”

We spend our days not really looking at one another – seeing one another. Sure we have moments where we can focus and not multi-task, but, are we really paying attention? Do we pay attention to the clerk who bags our groceries, or the person who seats us at our table? Do we pay attention to those we love…to the things we love? Do we really focus on our conversations with one another or let small ordinary moments, and things, and people pass us by?

Love.
Pay attention.

Because hey, as Matthew Broderick says in Ferris Buehler’s Day Off (1986), “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it.”

Live: Drive Time

Have you ever just gone through the motions of your day without really paying attention to what’s around you? I have! I swear I’ve even driven to work and back when, turning the key off, I wonder, “How did I get here?”

I’ve somehow managed to get lost in what I have to do, what’s going on in my life, and what’s coming up….thoughts, that is. And while I love thinking and dreaming and hoping and solving, I miss out sometimes on what is going on right in front of me.

I can’t turn my back on life anymore! I want to embrace it all: the traffic, the colors of the cars whooshing by me, the flowers blooming on the side of the road, the café I’ve never noticed before. Paying attention and being curious about the world where I live is an awesome and exciting feeling. And, in a way, it calms me….soothes me. It makes me feel as if I’m growing into the ground and not just passing by. Plus, it gives me great conversation topics at dinner or during drive time with my son.

Don’t numb out. Save thinking for moments you can really pay attention to the thought. Be curious about your world. It’s a beautiful thing out there. Notice people and things passing you by. Tip your hat to life’s dull moments; laugh out loud at the person picking his nose at the stop light. Because YOU were paying attention, thank goodness that person wasn’t YOU.

“Life was meant to be lived, and curiosity must be kept alive. One must never, for whatever reason, turn his back on life.”

-Eleanor Roosevelt