Love: Simply Remind Them

Everyone goes through bouts of feeling less than, questioning maybe something they did, or perhaps who they are. In uncertain times, it’s easy to have self-doubts of where you are going, or worse yet, realize where you are.

When you love someone and you see them hurting, it’s tough to stand by and watch. You want to fix it. You want to come to their aid, by their side, and fix the situation or sometimes, try even to fix them.

I want to challenge you to try something.

Simply remind them.

Remind them of who you know they are on the inside. Remind them of the gifts, qualities and strengths you have always admired in them. Remind them of a situation you’ve seen them go through before and solved on their own. Remind them of the knowledge they possess inside and the abilities they have to overcome anything – a situation, a doubt, a problem, or anything they might think of themselves.

Remind them you are on their side.
Remind them you love them.
Remind them that you believe in them.

The most compassionate love is when you can remind those you love of the person you know them to be. There is no need to tell untruths or pump someone up with exclamations of power or grandiosity. That may feel right in the moment for you but when you are the one hurting, all of that seems like a band-aid of sorts that may not feel quite like it fits right over the wound.

It is hard not to go into fix-it mode. But with kindness, compassion, and generosity of spirit you can truly mend a broken heart with your love. Not with hope or hype… but with truth, honesty and certainty.

And that is the truest form of love we could ever know.

Remind them.

“To love a person is to learn the song in their heart and to sing it to them when they have forgotten.”

-Thomas Chandler

To See: Jackson Pollock

Many will argue that their child, or an elephant, could do what Jackson Pollock did to canvas. Maybe so, but I say there was probably no one better at surrendering to an organic creative process.

He let the paint be what it is and do what it does. He not only accepted how paint splatters and globs, runs and pours, he adored the way it moved and danced across the canvas. He played with it. He called it “action painting” and dribbled and drizzled it saying, “The painting has a life of its own. I try to let it come through.”

Usually artists, like some of us in our everyday lives, try to control the outcome. We pause, we plan, we are careful, we are cautious – making sure that we get things juuuuust right. The end result of being so careful causes worry, dread, self-doubt, fear, loathing, procrastination, and stress.

It really seems so counter-intuitive. I mean, can we really control what people are? We can definitely have an effect, but in the end sometimes accepting what situations, circumstances, people, things are is really the beauty of all of it.

I love how Pollock really worked with what he had in a natural way. I learn from him. I admire him. I’m too much of a perfectionist. I need things to be just so. I am learning to breathe and let go: let things do what they need to do, let them dance, evolve naturally, and love them dearly for it. In the end, I will have my own masterpiece called life.

Copyright © 2008 by Kelley Taylor

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